Sunday, October 28, 2012

Tales Of The Naked Gnome: Part 3

"...sure! Why not? It's not like I have anything better to do."

"Await my letter in the mail. It will tell you everything you need to know." Then she vanished. He wondered if she had logged off or her power ran out, but then he remembered she was in an Arena Queue. (Naked Gnomes have very poor short term memories)

Now the worry and concern and excitement started. "Was she actually an undercover guard? Will she actually send me Whiptail? WIll it be more than I can handle? I wonder what she looks like out of Shadowform..." thought the Naked Gnome.


Meanwhile, in Arathi Basin....

Flags were getting stolen from the Alliance and Horde. Epic battles were causing chaos in the center of the arena. One lonesome noob, who happened to be the BG Leader, was yelling for everyone to get on defense. 

On the top of the Alliance Base, there was a priest auto-running into the corner. No one noticed her or reported her afk, because most of them were yelling at the noob. To everyone else she was invisible, but she was actually starting an empire.

"The Naked Gnome fell for it. This is going to be so much fun!" whispered Janeyy. " When should I send the letter?". "Soon, but not too soon. Wait two days and tell him this..." the person said.

Their Real ID name was The Person. She never asked him about it, and he never brought it up. She had never met this toon in-game and whenever she tried to /who, the only reply she ever got was "Player Not Found". There were too many questions she wanted to ask, but she knew it was better not to. All she wanted was the gold, and nothing else. 

"....and make sure you don't mess it up. I will whisper you when I need you again. You should get the first shipment in the mail tomorrow. DO NOT SEND IT TO HIM UNTIL DAY THREE!"

"OK, alright, fine. You don't have to yell.  -.- " Janeyy replied. "Player Not Found" is all she saw. "Dammit! He always does that! That's okay though. By the time this is over, I will have enough gold to buy a thousand Phoenix Mounts! MUA HA HA HA HA!"

The noob replied "I DOO NOT CAER ABOUT PHENIX MOUNTS! Get on defense god dammit!"

All she said was "Mistell".


The next day the Naked Gnome logged into WoW in the morning. He checked his mail. 


He went and bought some Queen's Garnets off the AH and gave them away in a Guild Contest.
Once it was over, two hours later, he checked his mailbox.


He logged off and took a nap. After he woke up and ate a Hot Pocket, he logged back in WoW and checked his mail.


" WTF! She said she was going to send me a letter! This is Bulls*it!"

He unplugged his computer and went back to bed.


He woke up in the afternoon, two days later, and logged into WoW.

He looked at the minimap and a small smile crept onto his face.

He opened the mailbox and saw one letter. From Janeyy. Marked "Instructions"

"Woot!" thought the Naked Gnome. "There's no Whiptail yet but at least she sent me something."

                             From: Janeyy
                          Subject: Instructions
              This is how it's going to work. You will receive a shipment of Whiptail, COD. You WILL        
        buy it ALL. If you fail to buy any of it, we are done and I will report you to the Guards. I can  
        make it look like you put it on the AH. I will make sure your ass gets thrown in the prisons,

        As long as you keep buying, we have no problems. Once you stop buying, you will cause your  
        own downfall. Do not reply to this letter OR send me any mail. EVER.

        Have a Nice Day! <3

The Naked Gnome thought "Wow. She must have gotten up on the wrong side of the bed today. Oh well. At least I'm..."

"HALT! In the Name of the Light!", A Guard yelled.

The Naked Gnome hit the Delete Mail button faster than a jet plane at Mach 12. ( I know it's bad but i'm terrible at similies)

"I'm going to throw your gear-grinding Chimpanzee right into the river!" yelled a little girl. "Stop pestering your brother. Now come on home, your mother just finished making Northrend Stew" the guard said as he picked up the little girl. " Link, lets go! And don't forget to grab your doll. I'm not spending another 40 silver to buy you another one."

"It's an action figure, dad. Girls play with dolls, boys play with action figures."

"Whatever" the guard said.

"Phew, that was close! I'm suprised he didn't yell at me for being naked again." the Naked Gnome thought to himself. Little did he know that at that same moment, in the Auction House, a flash mob with a D.I.S.C.O. Ball started a naked dance party. He saw the /yells but ignored them. He was too lost in thought, thinking about that letter he just deleted.


The next day the Naked Gnome logged on and saw his mailbox icon flashing. He ran over to the box containing his mail and opened it......

To be continued!

Question of the whatever: How's my writing? Good, bad? I'm just making up as i go along, and any comments or questions will be published as long as they aren't obscene. And thanks in advance!

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