Thursday, May 10, 2012

Tales of the Naked Gnome: The Whiptail Prohibition


Once upon a time in Azeroth there lived a Gnome. This Gnome was very poor. So poor that he had to sell the clothes off his back just to afford repairs. (wait what?)

Then one day a kind gentleman opened trade and gave this gnome 5 gold pieces. "Thank you!" said the Gnome. The Gentleman said "No problem. I was down on my luck once too. Then a very kind and caring person gave me 5 gold pieces. Now I'm wearing Tier 15 gear and living the high life! The only thing he said to me was 'Pay it forward'. Now I have. Good luck on your journey to greatness."

7 years later....

The Naked Gnome was running back and forth from the Dwarven Bank to the Auction House when an announcement came over the city's loudspeaker system. "By command of the King! Due to the recent influx of botters, all Whiptail is now banned from Azeroth! There will be no selling of it on the Auction House! That is all. May the Light be with you, always."

He couldn't believe what he had just heard! All the whiptail, banned forever? "It cannot be! There must be some mistake!" thought the Naked Gnome. "I have over 600 stacks of Whiptail, what am I going to do? I don't want to rot in the prisons of Twilight Highlands. It's freezing down there!"

The Naked Gnome decided he was going to do something. He didn't want a guard telling him "Go Directly to Jail! Do not pass the AH. Do not collect 200 gold from the mailbox." He spent 6 hours standing at the Guild Bank, milling and milling. He took all the pigment from the herbs he just milled, and made the pigment into ink. When all was said and done, he had 3,612 Blackfallow Ink. "Now what do I do with all of this ink?" thought the Naked Gnome. "I know! I'll make Fortune Cookies and Glyphs! That way the Stormwind Guards will never know about all that Whiptail. Genius!" (Kinda weird that he called himself a Genius, but let's move on)

He made 100,000g from all the items he crafted. "Wow! This worked out better than I had hoped!" exclaimed the Naked Gnome. "It's too bad I'm out of Whiptail. Since there's a ban on it I will never see that kind of gold again." (I'm not entirely sure why he talks to himself, maybe it's delirium from Hypothermia)

"Psst!". The Naked Gnome looked around all puzzled. As he started to walk away from the mailbox, he heard it again. "Psst! Hey you!". In the dark alley next to the mailbox stood a figure, hidden by shadow. "Me?" the Naked Gnome asked. "Yeah. You! Come over here,  I wanna talk to you." The Naked Gnome walked over to the shadows.....

To be continued!

Question of the Day:
If there was an item that Blizzard deemed contraband and you had a lot of it, what would you do?
Feel free to answer in the comment section below. Until next time!

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